This passage does not have a lack of conversation; in fact, these verses are some of the most popular when someone discusses a marriage relationship. We have to get the picture so far in the book of Ephesians so we can better understand what Paul is saying. Remember, Paul has spent a great portion of this letter correcting people’s thinking on the subject of what makes a follower of Christ different from everyone else. Most people relied on their heritage (Jewish) for that close connection with God; however, Paul made them aware that the gospel has been given to both the Jew and Gentile making no distinction between them. Paul goes on to write that the thing which makes them different is their lifestyle. Believers in Jesus Christ do not live a life of sin and wickedness but they strive for holiness and purity. In Ephesians 5:15-21, Paul just stated that being controlled (filled) with the Holy Spirit leads to certain behaviors and one of the behaviors he mentions is submission. Those verses naturally lead into the issue of a marriage relationship. The first direction is aimed at the wife where Paul says “submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” Submission carries the idea of giving place to another, in other words, willingly allow your husband to lead and guide your family. When a wife does this, she is in essence submitting to the Lord. I think it is equally important to view the next piece of advice in conjunction with the wife’s submission: “husbands love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her….” These commands go hand in hand. The husband should love his wife so much that he is willing to sacrifice anything for her. After all, Paul compares the duties of the husband with what Christ did for the church. I believe when the husband is properly loving his wife, the wife has no problem submitting to her husband because she knows he is doing what is best. Yes, God has ordained the man as the head of the home, but not to be a domineering authority. If a man loves God, then he will love his family and follow the principles of God in directing his family. I love how Paul ends this section: “let each one of you in particular so love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”
Dear God, help me follow these principles in my relationship!
