We recently committed “cell phone provider adultery” by leaving Verizon Wireless, whom we have been with almost a decade, and going with their bitter rival, AT&T. The first few months have been an adjustment – new phones, new customer service, and a whole new process to learn. One of the things we did not anticipate in our initial switch was that most of our family still has Verizon as their service provider, so we went over our minutes in our first month because we lost our free mobile to mobile minutes. On the last day of our billing cycle I checked our minute usage and we were already 50 minutes over, which would have incurred more than $20 in overage charges. Maybe that is not a problem for you, but I HATE paying overage charges for anything! On a whim, I contacted AT&T customer service and explained my dilemma and the gentleman was very kind in listening to my predicament. As I was talking, I was thinking, “This guy probably thinks I’m an idiot! There’s no way he is going to respond to my request.” To my surprise, the AT&T customer service representative understood and told me that he would add 200 minutes to my account and that if I didn’t use those extra minutes this month, they would roll over to next month.

I learned something through that process – asking must precede receiving. Without asking, you’ll never receive. Maybe the reason you have not yet received something is because you’ve never asked. “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened” (Matthew 7:7-8).

My eyes burst open and I quickly looked at the alarm clock on my nightstand; although I cannot remember the exact time, I’m certain the clock revealed that it was well after midnight. The sound of the front door opening had been enough to thrust me out of sleep and into ninja mode (whatever that is). Most people would have sprung out of bed, but not me. Still half asleep and lying in bed, I slapped both of my arms down on either side of me as if to brace myself for what was about to happen. Listening more intently to the sounds coming from downstairs, I then heard the pitter-patter of my dog’s paws walking through the hallway. “Great,” I thought. “The thieves had broken into my house and were now taking my dog captive. They must have muzzled her, though, because I never heard her bark.” As all these thoughts were running through my mind, I glanced over in order to see if my wife was hearing what I was hearing; however, she was not there. I then became extremely alarmed because I would normally send her downstairs to check out any unfamiliar noises. Who was going to do it now? Gradually, I came to my senses and realized that the reason my wife was not in bed was due to the fact that she was letting the dog out to use the bathroom.

The mind has a tendency to play tricks on a person, especially those who are absorbed with guilt. The wisdom writer reminds his readers of this truth when he says, “the wicked run away when no one is chasing them, but the godly are as bold as lions” (Proverbs 28:1). Hidden sin and unresolved conflict can result in a person living their life in fear of getting caught, even when no one else may know what they have done. A guilty conscience tends to have a misconstrued view of reality, while the clear conscience can experience a life of freedom. I think I’d rather spend my days being bold as a lion instead of feeling as if I am being chased by them. How about you?

Here in Ohio we have trash stalkers, at least that is what I call them. Trash stalkers are people who spend their evenings/nights stealthily cruising through neighborhoods on the eve of trash day in hopes of finding treasure in someone else’s curbside junk. On more than one occasion, I have personally spoken to one of these stalkers because there must be an unwritten rule that if they get caught digging through your trash, they must ask for permission to assume ownership of it. They typically say something like, “Is it okay with you if I take this?” Since I have an insatiable desire for sarcasm, I am tempted to respond by saying, “No you can’t. That tricycle with only one wheel is going to be used for a lawn ornament.” In reality though, I usually panic when they stop at my house thinking that I possibly chucked something of unrecognizable value or maybe the mirror I am tossing out contains an original copy of the Declaration of Independence behind the glass. I really do not want to end up in national headlines as the idiot who threw away thousands of dollars in his trash because he was blind to an item’s true value.

After spending more than a decade investing in the lives of others, I’m convinced that many people are guilty of throwing away things which they no longer view as valuable, even though it still holds great value; although, I do realize that some repair may be needed to restore full value to certain things. Most of the time, something which was once valuable only became trash because of improper care.

Yesterday I took my two kids on a bike ride because, well, it is our new favorite thing to do and I believe they enjoying spending some time with me as much as I enjoy spending time with them. Now every day when I get home from work, both my son and daughter beg me to take another bike ride. So yesterday, instead of traveling the normal route around our neighborhood, I decided to take them on a new, exciting adventure in order to explore the unknown – the woods. Hoping there would be a decent bicycle path amongst the tall trees near our house, all three of us set out on an adventure; however, my children had no idea what I had planned. As we approached the deep, dark forest my seven and nine year old became a little concerned about entering a place where they had never been; in fact, they objected and made statements like, “I don’t want to go in there.” I assured them that there had been no recent snake attacks in our area, so we finally proceeded into the canopy of trees. After only traveling a short distance, the trail ended so we backtracked and took a side trail I had spotted several yards back, which ended up leading to another dead end. Determined to find a clear path, I led us along the edge of the trees until we had descended down a hill where we were met with yet another dead end. By this time, my kids were clearly frustrated with me and at one point, my daughter (who is always brutally honest) put her bike down on the ground and said, “I’m tired and I want to go home NOW!” I knew it was time to abandon my plan for discovery and exploration. Dejected and a little frustrated that my plan for exploring new paths had failed, we all pedaled home. Based on yesterday’s failure, I was certain that they would not want to embark on another bicycle journey; however, when I arrived home this evening, they asked if we were going on a bike ride.

Has the person who is your leader (a boss, teacher, parent, or pastor) led your business, classmates, family, or church to several dead ends? If so, maybe he or she needs you to ask to go on another bike ride.

Several years ago we had guests at our home for a weekend, which usually means an adjustment in our daily habits. I’m not talking about bad habits but normal, everyday things you can only do around your own family. Since our house is two levels (and also includes a basement), most of the adjustment only takes place on the ground-level floor. Normal activity resumes on the second floor where it is immediate family only. There is one slight connection between the ground level and the second floor by way of the stairs so that if you stand at the very bottom of our stairs, you can see straight into the upstairs bathroom if the door is open.

On Sunday morning, I got up early to take a shower and upon finishing I exited the bathroom with just shorts and no shirt on; however, as soon as I exited, I noticed that the female guest in our home was about to make her way up the stairs to the bathroom because she thought I was already done. Unfortunately, she saw me without my shirt on and I was extremely embarrassed. Although some guys may not think this is a big deal, I did because I’m not one who enjoys mowing the lawn with his shirt off or playing a basketball game where the teams are divided by shirts and skins. It’s just not me…it makes me feel as if someone has seen a part of me that was not meant for them to see. Now that you know my true feelings, I’m sure this will put to rest all the rumors flying about me being the shirtless model plastered on the wall of Abercrombie & Fitch!

Setting aside the physical aspect of this thought, I believe many of us can identify with the mental, emotional, and spiritual aspects. When someone catches an unauthorized view of a particular area of our life, we often retreat in shame. No one enjoys being exposed because of a weakness, a seemingly uncontrollable addiction, or an area of extreme vulnerability. Through years of experience, many have become experts at covering up these undesirable parts without realizing that “the eyes of the Lord are in every place, keeping watch on the evil and the good” (Proverbs 15:3). This means that God sees you – all of you…but He loves You anyway. Paul writes that God demonstrated His love toward us, that even though we were sinners, Christ still died for us (Romans 5:8).

Okay. So there are no vampires in this story, but there is a bat. Yesterday, several staff members, including myself, were walking through one of the hallways on the second level of our church (main campus) when all of the sudden our senior pastor stopped and inquired about an object hanging where the wall and ceiling meet. I had walked through the same hallway yesterday and noticed, what I supposed to be, a wire or wires hanging from the ceiling. “That’s a bat!” our senior pastor said. At first, I thought he was seeing things (he is getting older) so I decided to turn on more lights in the hallway. Sure enough, he was right! There hanging from the ceiling in our church was a bat. Although it was a nice call by the pastor, our attention quickly turned to removing this vampire bat from the church building; after all, I’m sure we would get some e-mail complaints if we left it there for Sunday worship.

My first thought was, “The only way to get this bat out of the church is to whack it on the head and kill it.” Don’t get me wrong. I love mammals, but not in confined spaces where there is a risk of me getting bitten. After a few minutes of searching around the custodial closets, we located a broom handle and I was elected to wield it, but the pastor reminded me, “You’ve only got one shot and if you miss, that thing is going to be flying all over the place.” Thank you for that voice of reason. The pastor and another unnamed staff member who works with our middle school students stood at a far distance so they could see the outcome. I’m certain they were rooting for me to miss so they could, as the pastor said, “see me scream like a girl and run.”

As I nervously approached the bat with my weapon of choice, I began thinking about what I would do if I missed. I mentally planned for failure. Many people never try anything because they have already convinced themselves that they will fail. Countless plans, movements, ministries, businesses, and dreams have never been realized because they never escaped from the mind. What would you be willing to try if failure wasn’t an option?

Postscript: Custodians arrived. Bat was removed safely. PETA is happy.

“Can I go outside?” my seven year old daughter asked as I sat relaxing in the family room at our home. She loves the swing set in our backyard and spends lots of time swinging on the swings. “Sure. That’s fine with me,” I said as she quickly slipped on her flip flops and dashed into the backyard. A few minutes later, my wife came downstairs after waking up from her Sunday afternoon nap and sat with me in the family room. Before I knew it, my daughter was opening the sliding glass door wanting us to watch her new trick on the swing. Her trick was adventurous. After proving that she could use the rope swing to increase her speed on the regular swing, my wife and I continued hanging out in the family room…until the sliding glass door opened once again, but this time my daughter was crying. “What happened?” we asked. She proceeded to tell us (through the tears) that she had fallen off the swing and now her wrist was hurting. Since my daughter is a thrill seeker as well as accident prone, we took her to the local emergency care center where the x-rays revealed a broken radius (the lateral bone of the forearm). This is the second bone my daughter has broken this year and she just got her last cast off six weeks ago! Also, in keeping with her last broken bone, which she broke on my wife’s birthday, Lexi broke this bone on my birthday. I wonder what she will do for Christmas this year?

Today, when we were waiting in the doctor’s office I told my wife, “None of this would have happened if I would have told her that she couldn’t go outside.” Have you ever had one of those moments where you’ve questioned a better outcome if you would have made a different decision? I know I have. Unfortunately, no matter how bad you question your decision, it is already a part of your past.

Instead of attempting to change the past, fight to reclaim the future.

We live in a drive-thru society. Most things can be obtained either instantaneously or expeditiously and although I enjoy immediate gain, I believe there are some dangerous characteristics which can possibly result by attempting to acquire quick progress. One of the major perils in an instant society is quitting too soon; in other words, the desired objective is not accomplished within the stated time, so the mission is abandoned or seriously frustrated. While there are the occasional instant success stories, many more are stories of patience and repeated faithfulness. Eugene Peterson refers to this consistency and perseverance, especially in spiritual maturity, as “a long obedience in the same direction.”

As a church planter, I am beginning to understand this principle. The church across the country who has experienced incredible growth in a short amount of time is not to be my standard of success. Even though I can learn from that church and celebrate God’s work in their ministry, they must not become my obsession. My obsession must be the mission God has given to me and I must be faithful to accomplish it.

The principle is still the same regardless of your application. When your relationship is not progressing as quickly as the next person, don’t give up. When you aren’t losing weight as fast as someone else, don’t run out and stock your cupboards with Twinkies. When your business isn’t experiencing immediate profit, don’t sell out.

Be faithful to the mission. Adjust when necessary, but don’t give up.

Ants were not meant to live in homes, especially mine; but for some reason, ants enjoy the comfy confines of our household. Every single year, usually around this time, we spot those tiny little insects roaming the kitchen and bathroom floor as if they owned the place and although they seem to be oblivious to our presence, we always notice them. I must be honest. I step on the ants. I’m sorry if you are offended by my inhumane actions, but I do. Sometimes I even do the squash and twist to make sure they are dead. The frustrating thing is that even though I’ve put countless ants to death, they keep coming back. I cannot get rid of them. My non-scientific reasoning for failing to exterminate the ants is that I have yet to discover where they are entering; in reality, I could continue killing ants all day long without ever completely eliminating them. I guess my time would be better spent in finding the unguarded source.

Sound familiar? Many people will spend much time and energy trying to correct unwanted behavior (killing ants) instead of facing the real source of their actions. The wise writer of Proverbs says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for it affects everything you do” (Proverbs 4:23). When a person’s heart is not guarded by truth and righteousness, wrong behavior will be repeated. Do you ever wonder why you keep looking at porn, continue rising up in anger, or run from the things God wants you to do? And is the real answer found in purity software (which I’m not against), counting to 10 and taking a deep breath, or making deals with God?

Maybe it’s time for you to quit killing ants and begin protecting the place where they are entering.

In case you missed it, read yesterday’s post entitled “One Pastor’s Struggle.”