Here in Ohio we have trash stalkers, at least that is what I call them. Trash stalkers are people who spend their evenings/nights stealthily cruising through neighborhoods on the eve of trash day in hopes of finding treasure in someone else’s curbside junk. On more than one occasion, I have personally spoken to one of these stalkers because there must be an unwritten rule that if they get caught digging through your trash, they must ask for permission to assume ownership of it. They typically say something like, “Is it okay with you if I take this?” Since I have an insatiable desire for sarcasm, I am tempted to respond by saying, “No you can’t. That tricycle with only one wheel is going to be used for a lawn ornament.” In reality though, I usually panic when they stop at my house thinking that I possibly chucked something of unrecognizable value or maybe the mirror I am tossing out contains an original copy of the Declaration of Independence behind the glass. I really do not want to end up in national headlines as the idiot who threw away thousands of dollars in his trash because he was blind to an item’s true value.

After spending more than a decade investing in the lives of others, I’m convinced that many people are guilty of throwing away things which they no longer view as valuable, even though it still holds great value; although, I do realize that some repair may be needed to restore full value to certain things. Most of the time, something which was once valuable only became trash because of improper care.

Yesterday I took my two kids on a bike ride because, well, it is our new favorite thing to do and I believe they enjoying spending some time with me as much as I enjoy spending time with them. Now every day when I get home from work, both my son and daughter beg me to take another bike ride. So yesterday, instead of traveling the normal route around our neighborhood, I decided to take them on a new, exciting adventure in order to explore the unknown – the woods. Hoping there would be a decent bicycle path amongst the tall trees near our house, all three of us set out on an adventure; however, my children had no idea what I had planned. As we approached the deep, dark forest my seven and nine year old became a little concerned about entering a place where they had never been; in fact, they objected and made statements like, “I don’t want to go in there.” I assured them that there had been no recent snake attacks in our area, so we finally proceeded into the canopy of trees. After only traveling a short distance, the trail ended so we backtracked and took a side trail I had spotted several yards back, which ended up leading to another dead end. Determined to find a clear path, I led us along the edge of the trees until we had descended down a hill where we were met with yet another dead end. By this time, my kids were clearly frustrated with me and at one point, my daughter (who is always brutally honest) put her bike down on the ground and said, “I’m tired and I want to go home NOW!” I knew it was time to abandon my plan for discovery and exploration. Dejected and a little frustrated that my plan for exploring new paths had failed, we all pedaled home. Based on yesterday’s failure, I was certain that they would not want to embark on another bicycle journey; however, when I arrived home this evening, they asked if we were going on a bike ride.

Has the person who is your leader (a boss, teacher, parent, or pastor) led your business, classmates, family, or church to several dead ends? If so, maybe he or she needs you to ask to go on another bike ride.

Since both of my kids have learned to ride their bikes this summer, I have been in search of a bike for myself so I can ride with them. In the meantime, I have been riding an electric scooter that requires me to push with one of my feet because the battery alone is not powerful enough to go up hills, even small ones. I’m pretty sure…let me rephrase that…I’m confident that a thirty-five year old man looks ridiculous riding a scooter; in fact, I caught a few people who saw me riding the scooter and ran inside their house in order to bring other family members outside to see the old guy on the scooter. Maybe I need to join the circus. I really didn’t care what everyone else thought about me because my kids thought I was really cool; of course, they don’t know any better, yet. After riding for a while, two middle school boys passed by us riding their bikes and looking at me they said, “Nice scooter. I wish I had one like that!” They rode away laughing. In the back of my mind I was thinking, “Listen, you little boys whose voices haven’t changed and whose armpits haven’t grown one hair yet. I’ll run over you with this scooter…if I can catch up with you!” For some reason, I allowed their snide comment to bother me.

It’s astounding how quickly we can be negatively affected by the comments of people who don’t really know us, barely know us, or don’t care about us. A judgmental word in passing, a controversial comment on your blog, an anonymous letter, or a criticizing e-mail can cause a person to re-examine his choices or even lose hope.

The voice which speaks only in passing is a voice which should be passed by.

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Following the church service on Sunday we met a new couple at our church for lunch at Panera, one of my favorite places to eat. After a great meal and some nice conversation, my son informed my wife that he had to use the bathroom, so she told him just to go ahead. He is at the age where he can go to a public bathroom by himself as long as we are nearby. He left and all of us continued to talk until my wife felt as if my son was taking a little longer than normal in the restroom so she sent me to check on him. I quickly excused myself and made my way to the back of the restaurant where the single stall/single urinal men’s room was located. Walking directly in front of me was another gentleman who also entered the restroom and occupied the only urinal, so as a matter of elimination I assumed my son was using the only stall. Unfortunately, the only way to get my son’s attention was to call out his name (which is Ty) but as I did, this guy standing at the urinal thought I was talking to him. Frightened by my voice he not only jumped, but also hurriedly turned his head around probably thinking: a) why are you yelling at me, b) my name is not Ty, c) you are violating the unwritten rules of the men’s room, and d) I’m going to punch you right in the face if you yell at me again. Luckily, Ty responded from the confines of the stall and, I think, the man finally understood that I was just checking on my son.

Have you ever attracted the attention of the wrong person? Sometimes, as in my case, attracting the wrong person’s attention was a total accident resulting from a misuderstanding; however, there are many people who attract the attention of wrong people as a result of character flaws in their own life. Maybe you are a woman who seems to attract the wrong kind of guys or it could be that you are a college student who continually allures the attention of people who bring you down. Maybe you are a church member who attracts the attention of hypocritical and negative people who are also attending your church.

If you are a person who seems to always be surrounded by the wrong type of people, it may be time to take a look inward. The problem may not be the type of people you are attracting, but why they are attracted to you.

One day Jesus encounters a man who works for the IRS and asks him to change occupations. Instead of cheating people out of their hard earned money by collecting a little extra for himself, Jesus asks this man named Levi (Matthew) to work for Him. Without hesitation Levi closes his office, abandons everything he owns, and follows Jesus (Luke 5:27-28). This is a dramatic life change. After his early retirement from tax collecting, Levi holds a party in his home in honor of Jesus (his new boss) where the who’s who of losers and local outcasts attend alongside Jesus’ disciples (Luke 5:29). The people answering the door at Levi’s house obviously didn’t get the memo about sticking to the guest list because somehow the stuck-up religious people crashed the party accusing Jesus and His disciples of eating and drinking with losers (Luke 5:30). The so-called religious leaders thought that if Jesus and His followers were representing God, they should be a tad more discreet about the company they kept; after all, the scribes (interpreters of the Old Testament law) and Pharisees (group of people consumed with external rules) would never be caught dead befriending such outcasts.

When Jesus got word that the partypoopers had busted up the celebration, He immediately defended Himself and His disciples’ associations saying, “Healthy people don’t need a doctor – sick people do. I have come not to call those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners and need to repent” (Luke 5:31 NLT). Jesus’ defense here is simple. Rather than waste His time catering to people who thought they had God all figured out, He would instead spend His days offering hope and life to those who needed it most.

A lot of religious people are more concerned about who they can stay away from rather than being concerned about who needs Jesus.

Some of you may remember a blog entry I posted a little over a month ago called, No Hamster Dance for Us , where I briefly chronicled my reasoning for not purchasing a hamster as a second pet for our family. Most of my decision making was based on input from former hamster owners who, almost unanimously, discouraged me from taking the plunge. Comments such as “they stink” was enough to deter me from driving to the nearest pet store and making my selection from the plethora of smelly hamsters. We already have a smelly dog at home so why would we need to add another competing entity? Needless to say, my wife was not happy with those who negatively affected my determination (she is harmless), but I thought we had mutually agreed to disagree…until the kids called me a couple days later while I was at work to inform me that they had just bought a hamster. So much for the “wives submit to your own husbands” principle!

The first few days, I really didn’t like the thing…sorry, I guess “the thing” has a name, which is Rhino. You may recognize our plagiarized name from another famous hamster featured in the recent animated movie Bolt. But people were right – the hamster sometimes stink (like all of us at one time or another) and he (or she…I’m not sure how to tell) is pretty loud at night; however, after dark he (or she) turns into a one-man (or woman) show. Seriously, this rodent has some major energy to release after the sun goes down and although I hate to say it, I have actually enjoyed watching him (or her) zoom around in the ball, furiously run on the wheel, and crawl through the tunnels in the cage. It’s like having Animal Planet in your home without the price of cable!

Even though I’m still not keen on everything about the hamster, I’ve learned to overlook the negative aspects in order to concentrate on the things I enjoy. Three people in my home really love the hamster (the verdict is still out on what the dog thinks) and I don’t want to be the one who spoils it for everyone else. There are some people who thrive on being the spoilers or partypoopers, as I like to call them, and they’re not happy until everyone else is not.

I hope you are not that person.

There were two cash registers opened side by side, so I decided to be non-committal by standing back a little bit, waiting to checkout at the register which became available first . Don’t act like you’ve never done that! Out of nowhere, a middle-aged man angrily asked, “Are you in line!?” I kindly responded that I was, but that I was also awaiting the first available cashier. My answer seemed to perturb him even more and he made one of those loud, breathy sighs while retreating behind me again. At that moment, another cashier opener his register right next to the other two and the impatient man bolted to the newly opened line. I kept my mouth shut, although I’m pretty certain I could have beat him up if he had started a fight. I was a green belt in middle school. The young employee noticed what had happened and said to the man, “I believe he (pointing to me) was next in line.” The customer reluctantly turned around to look at me but I responded, “I’m not in a rush. Let him go ahead.” After the man was finished checking out, I placed my stuff on the counter and the cashier said, “I apologize about that. He was really rude.” I assured the cashier that it was no big deal and that I would seek revenge by accidentally allowing my cart to bash the side of the impatient man’s car!

A thought occurred to me in response to this situation – it is extremely unfortunate when an individual has to apologize or make excuses for the actions of another person. “I’m sorry for the way my husband acted. He is under a lot of stress right now.” “My daughter didn’t really mean what she said.” “The pastor is always dealing with negative people. I’m sure he wouldn’t normally react in that manner.”

Is anyone apologizing for you? Are you apologizing for someone else? May we take responsibility for our own actions and challenge others to do the same.

I was waiting patiently in the closet directly outside of the bathroom in the house where I grew up. The only audible noises were the sounds of me breathing and someone occupying the bathroom. Suddenly, the bathroom door swung open leaving me with a brief window of time to attack the person exiting. Not wanting to miss the perfect chance, I sprung from the closet and screamed as loud as I knew how finding myself face to face with the occupant…my dad. Uncharacteristically, a look of fear came across his face as he jumped back two or three steps before he realized that his “attacker” was none other than his eldest son, me. There was really nothing to fear about my five foot four, ninety-nine pound body frame, but the element of surprise was enough to scare the fear of God into him. In a house with three teenage sons, my mom and dad were constantly dealing with the cool factor and part of being cool was having the ability to scare the mess out of each other. Hiding in closets, under beds, and in dark rooms to find our next victim was common place in our home; however, scaring dad was next to impossible…until my great victory. I began laughing uncontrollably and pointing my finger in his face while gloating about the look of fear on his face. Instead of laughing along, he simply looked at me and said, “It may not be today, it may not be tomorrow, it may not be next week, but I WILL get you back” and then he walked away. My laughing immediately turned to panic because I knew that my dad never lies. I spent the next few days watching my back and living in constant fear until I eventually thought he had forgotten. He hadn’t.

Since I was a teenager working at our local grocery store, my boss usually scheduled me to work the closing shift which landed me home around 11:00pm or after. I stepped out of my rockin’, red Chevy Beretta and made my way to the front door of our house, but as I fumbled for my keys to unlock the door, I heard a slight rustling in the bushes. Before I could reach for my mace (just kidding), a giant man came pouncing out of the bushes screaming “Rooooooooooooooooooar!” Without thinking, I jumped off the porch and began running (in mid-air) toward the street screaming like a little girl, that is, until I heard my dad laughing uncontrollably.

Expect your actions toward others to be repeated on you also.

“So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you… (Matthew 7:12). When Jesus spoke these words, He was revealing the importance of treating others the way you want to be treated. Want love? Show love. Want respect? Show respect. Want attention? Show attention.

So, if you feel as if everyone is treating you badly, you might want to change the way you are treating them.

What was I writing almost a year ago? Find out by clicking here.
Click here to read last week’s most visited blog post.

I cried. I admit that it’s been a while since I’ve let the tears flow, but I just could not hold them back. What was it that caused this grown man cry? Kris Allen winning American Idol provoked emotions in me which I had not felt in some time. Before I continue, I know what you’re thinking…what a wimp! Yeah, you’re right. I would be a wimp, but I am lying. I didn’t cry when Kris Allen won American Idol, but I did shed a few tears when I was in the shower the other day and shampoo got in my eyes. I’m not even sure how it occurred, considering I wash my hair every day, but I must have haphazardly slapped the shampoo on my hair causing it to seep into my eyes. Oh my word! I forgot how much it hurts to get that stuff in your eyes. For a brief second I thought about rushing to the emergency care center near our house so they could flush my eyes out with something, anything…but I figured they would just laugh at my expense. For the rest of the day my eyes were stinging and watering, but the irritation eventually subsided. Who in the world invented such potent shampoo and shouldn’t there be a massive warning label plastered on the front saying, “WARNING: May Burn Eyes Out of Head!”?

A little later in the day I remembered an incident last year when we had run out of the “tear free” shampoo for the kids and I had to make them use “big boy and big girl” shampoo. I thought my presentation about the shampoo being something big kids would use would convince them to use it. I was right. Inevitably, they both got shampoo in their eyes and made a big drama out of it. I remember saying to each of them, “It doesn’t hurt that bad. Quit being a baby!”

I find it very easy to judge someone whenever I haven’t experienced what they’re experiencing or when I’ve forgotten how it feels to be in their predicament. Saying things such as, “Forget about it” or “Get over it” or “Just move on” or “You’re acting immature” are unfair statements, especially when you haven’t attempted to identify with their feelings. A good rule to remember is this: If you can empathize (know by experience), share your story; if you can only sympathize (know by knowledge), keep your mouth shut and just listen.

What was I writing one year ago? Click here to read an old-school post.

Or, see what you’ve missed this week.
Monday – No Hamster Dance for Us!
Tuesday – The Intruder in Our House