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Why Don’t You Shut Up!

October 20, 2010 in Anger, Christians, Relationships, Speech, Thoughts with 0 Comments

There are few things that feel better than unleashing a tirade of words on someone who annoys you, especially when they have pushed you over the edge. For some reason, we believe angry words will cause the other person to compromise, back down, or even apologize; however, harsh words often cause further tension between two individuals. Unfortunately, words said in anger can permanently damage a relationship, which can also affect friends and family close to the situation. Unkind words leave ugly scars.

Those who claim to follow Christ are accountable for the words they speak and should carefully guard what they say because spoken words reflect what is in the heart. Rather than fighting angry words with more angry words, the writer of Proverbs challenges his readers to react with a “soft answer,” which deflects anger (Proverbs 15:1).

Angry words bring destruction, but well-spoken words bring peace.

Bringing Spanking Back

October 6, 2010 in Anger, Attitude, Relationship with God, Relationships, Thoughts, True Stories with 0 Comments

Although I am 37 years old, I can still remember a few spankings I deservedly received during my younger days.  I was the type of kid who started crying before I ever got the spanking because the anticipation was so overwhelming.   Usually swift discipline quickly put me back on the straight and narrow; however, with each passing year I noticed myself beginning to resent the correction of my parents and those in authority.  Every time an authority figure exposed a behavior issue, I would outwardly adjust my actions, but inwardly I was angry…angry that someone else was telling me that I was wrong.

Let’s be honest.  Who likes their boss correcting them in a company meeting?  Who enjoys a spiritual mentor pointing out areas that need to be changed?  What child happily receives chastisement from their parents?  Who can abstain from offense when the Pastor preaches against your sin?  What type of person can accept honest feedback from caring friends?  Who finds it easy to love God when He permits consequences for wrongdoing?  Although discipline is difficult to embrace, those who respond properly will live a life of righteousness.  The writer of Hebrews pens these beautiful words, “No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way” (Hebrews 12:11).

If someone cares about you enough you to correct you, be glad.  A proper response to correction can prevent future consequences.

Put Down Your Middle Finger, Turn the Other Cheek

September 28, 2010 in Anger, Attitude, Character, Funny Stories, Loving Others, Relationships, True Stories with 1 Comment

A couple weeks ago I was leaving  Panera, one of my favorite places to eat, and there was a guy crossing into the parking lot right ahead of me.  Although the parking lot is a highly trafficked area, most drivers will stop for pedestrians…most of them.  As the guy in front of me headed to his car, a young driver decided that he wasn’t going to let him cross over in front of him.  They exchanged dirty looks and then the guy walking decided he was going to cross the street in front of this driver no matter what.  As the young man crossed in front of the car, he looked directly into the eyes of the driver and gave him a “one finger salute.”  I watched the entire scenario as if it were in slow motion.

Those types of occurrences don’t shock me, but they do leave me a little frustrated.  What was to be gained through that brief conflict?  As far as I can tell, nothing.  Although conflict is inevitable in everyday life, we can choose how we respond.  Many times we feel a need for personal retaliation when our so-called “rights” have been violated.  A smart remark, a dirty look, a word of gossip, or personal attacks top our lists when someone crosses us the wrong way, but is that God’s standard of conduct?  In His Sermon on the Mount, Jesus throws out a couple words we might overlook if we don’t read carefully, “But I say, do not resist an evil person! If someone slaps you on the right cheek, offer the other cheek also” (Matthew 5:39).  Jesus commands His followers to turn the other way instead of seeking revenge on those who have offended us.

Retaliating is natural.  Pardoning is supernatural. Revenge may be our human reaction, but release is our divine responsibility.

This Makes Me Angry!

September 7, 2010 in Anger, Thoughts with 1 Comment

I was eating at a restaurant the other day and I overheard a man at the table behind me saying to his waiter, “You are really slow.”  He was obviously angry about the amount of time it took to get his food.  I thought to myself, “That guy is a real jerk!”  He was, but then I remembered how often I get angry.  I’m a jerk sometimes.  I bet you are too.  If you are like me, you get angry at all kinds of things.  Angry at your boss.  Angry at your family.  Angry at traffic jams.  Angry at the guy who got the promotion.  Angry at the liberals.  Angry at the right wing conservatives.  Angry at a sports team.  Angry with your current situation.  Angry with God.  Angry at the church.  Angry at what you feel was mistreatment.  Angry that the internet is slow.  Angry that gas is so expensive.  Angry that someone else gets more recognition than you.  Angry that your professor gives you too much homework.

We are angry people.  Some more than others, but all of us get angry.  The Bible has much to say regarding getting angry:

“Be not quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger lodges in the bosom of fools” (Ecclesiastes 7:9, ESV)

“He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, And he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city” (Proverbs 16:32, NKJV)

“Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil” (Psalm 37:8, NIV)

“Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare” (Proverbs 22:24-25, ESV)

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you” (Ephesians 4:31-32, NLT)

Another Middle Finger Has Been Raised

August 21, 2009 in Anger, Attitude, Funny Stories, Sin, True Stories, Weakness with 0 Comments

Traffic is never a factor in our city; sure, we may have occasional delays and minor traffic jams, but I’ve never been more than 10-15 minutes late because everyone was trying to get to the same place. Having grown up in a large city (shout out to Charlotte, NC), I know the difference between minor and major delays so it really perturbs me when people in my small town get ticked about slight hangups on the roadway. For instance, I was on my way to work the other day and, by chance, I glanced into my rear-view mirror when I noticed a gentleman who appeared a bit agitated at another driver causing an inconsequential hindrance to this man’s route. Next thing I know, the impatient man pulls up beside the other driver, rolls down his window, and gives him the ol’ “one finger wave.” The fast-fingered driver then sped up and pulled over behind me, which is the wrong place to be because I cannot go fast for fear of another speeding ticket. I awaited my own close up of this man’s middle finger; however, after a brief episode of tailgating, he finally put his turn signal on and pulled into the parking lot…of a behavioral physician. I thought to myself, “That makes sense.” A guy who obviously cannot manage his behavior on his own needs help from someone outside himself.I have a lot in common with that guy.”Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord.” – the words of the apostle Paul in Romans 7:24-25

The Intruder in Our House

June 16, 2009 in Anger, Funny Stories, Judging, Relationships, True Stories with 0 Comments

I was minding my own business last night. My kids were in bed. My wife was watching a crime drama downstairs (hopefully not one about a wife murdering her husband while he is asleep) and I was zoning in and out of consciousness in the bed upstairs while also watching some television. As you can tell, Leah and I have very distinct TV viewing habits. She likes shows where people die and I like shows where animals are given life! I can’t even remember what I was watching, but out of the corner of my eye I detected some quick movement. For whatever reason, I immediately went from oblivious mode to ninja mode (I think I pulled a muscle) by jumping out of the bed and toward whatever had moved. Instead of the object of movement being a crime drama crazed wife or an intruder, I discovered that a white moth had entered one of the doors of our house, which was probably left open by one of our non-energy conscious kids. I guess they are trying to do their part in the fight against global warming by letting all the cool air in our house outside into the atmosphere. Al Gore would be proud.

After getting a handle on my surroundings, I realized that I had overreacted. Rather than rapidly going on the offensive against an “unidentified object,” I should have been slow to counter. Many conflicts could be avoided if people would show restraint and examine all the facts before responding.

Have you gone on the offensive against someone or something without first exploring the whole truth?

RIP – the moth

Wet Pants

October 29, 2008 in Anger, True Stories with 0 Comments

My mom has been in town this past weekend and oftentimes we go out to eat when we have out-of-town guests. On Saturday we ate at a restaurant near our house because we were under some time constraints so we ordered some pretty simple things from the menu and were talking before the food arrived. My son Ty, who was sitting beside me, was talking very dramatically using his hands to emphasize a point, as is typical for him, and by mistake he accidentally knocked over his glass of water. Given that water moves quickly across a table, I tried to push my chair away from the oncoming typhoon, but my reactionary skills are a little slow in my old age. Not one drop of that full glass of water soaked the clothes of my son; however, the entire content of the glass found its way onto my pants. Oh no…water spilled at a restaurant table NEVER just goes on your pant leg or in an inconspicuous place. My pants were now the bearer of a big, wet spot right on that place…you know what I am talking about. My first thought was – I should yell at him for doing that, but better judgment gripped me before a bad reaction followed. He didn’t mean to do it. Of course it didn’t help matters that Ty was now saying that it looked like I had wet my pants as he was pointing and laughing at me. I just smiled and prayed that our food would be delayed until my pants were dry. That didn’t happen. Although in this particular situation I did not react in a wrong way, I could share many more times when my reactions were inappropriate.Our reactions to every situation in life are very important because I believe they are one of the biggest revealers of what is really in our hearts. When anger and bitterness have captured the heart of an individual, they will eventually manifest themselves. As far as I can tell, truth is the only thing worth defending. Even the writer of Proverbs 15:1 tells us that “a soft answer turns away wrath, but harsh words stir up anger.” Instead of letting your voice be heard and your wrath be felt by family, friends, and strangers try reacting with kindness and gentleness.