Tom Hogsed » Guilt

Coming Clean with God

Tom Hogsed — Wed, 01 Dec 2010 05:01:32 +0000

Whenever I need a new beginning with God, I always turn to Psalm 51. Although the words written there are David’s specific confession for his sin of adultery, they provide a beautiful picture of a heart broken over sin and a man in pursuit of a fresh start with God. If you need a fresh start today, speak these words to God from a humble heart.

“Wash me clean from my guilt. Purify me from my sin. For I recognize my rebellion; it haunts me day and night. Against you, and you alone, have I sinned; I have done what is evil in your sight. You will be proved right in what you say, and your judgment against me is just ” (Psalm 51:2-4).

“Purify me from my sins, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow” (Psalm 51:7).

“Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a loyal spirit within me” (Psalm 51:10).

“The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God” (Psalm 51:17).

Video Blog – Things You Should Know About My Past

Tom Hogsed — Tue, 05 Oct 2010 14:00:11 +0000

Yesterday, I wrote about dealing with your past. If you didn’t get a chance to read my post, you can get a little video preview here and if you would like to read the original post, you can read that here. Forgive my first attempt at a video blog, but I’m trying a few new things here. Enjoy your day!

Things You Should Know About My Past from Tom Hogsed on Vimeo.

Things You Should Know About My Past

Tom Hogsed — Mon, 04 Oct 2010 04:01:17 +0000

Letting go of the past is, well, not so easy. Looking back over my life, I could list numerous regrets and sins which I would be ashamed to admit; in fact, some of those things have been hard to release from memory. Although I have sought God’s forgiveness from my past sins, I still find it complicated to forgive myself. How could I be so stupid? Why did I let that area slip? I knew better. This morning as I was sitting down to pray and study for my Sunday message at The Summit, something from my past popped into my head out of nowhere. At first I wondered, “Where did that come from?” In that moment, I began an honest prayer to God and claimed His forgiveness. I know God had already forgiven me, but all the memories flooded my mind again. Through the years, especially when regret plagues my soul, I have often reminded myself that the past changes for no one. The page has been turned. Yesterday is out of reach.

If your past cannot be altered, why have you been so consumed with it? Don’t get me wrong, I understand that sin brings consequences, but does God really desire for you to live in a continual state of regret for things you cannot change? I really do not think so. Once you have turned from sin (repented) and received God’s forgiveness, you must release the sin. Isaiah wrote concerning this very topic, “All of us, like sheep, have strayed away. We have left God’s paths to follow our own. Yet the Lord laid on him the sins of us all” (Isaiah 53:6).

Listen, you have done some terribly stupid things in the past. So have I. God knew you would break His commandments and sometimes stray away from Him, so He took drastic measures 2,000 years ago when He treated His own Son, Jesus, as if He had committed those sins you actually committed. Those very sins which have consumed your life, have been shouldered by Jesus Christ. He shouldered that divorce. He shouldered that lie. He shouldered your perversion. He shouldered your secret sin. He shouldered your cheating. He shouldered your deception. He shouldered your failings as a parent. He shouldered that lust. He shouldered that bitterness.

There are a few things you should know about my past, but thankfully my past has been erased.

The Day I Lost My Mind

Tom Hogsed — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 05:01:00 +0000

My eyes burst open and I quickly looked at the alarm clock on my nightstand; although I cannot remember the exact time, I’m certain the clock revealed that it was well after midnight. The sound of the front door opening had been enough to thrust me out of sleep and into ninja mode (whatever that is). Most people would have sprung out of bed, but not me. Still half asleep and lying in bed, I slapped both of my arms down on either side of me as if to brace myself for what was about to happen. Listening more intently to the sounds coming from downstairs, I heard the pitter-patter of my dog’s paws walking through the hallway. “Great,” I thought. “The thieves had broken into my house and were now taking my dog captive. They must have muzzled her, though, because I never heard her bark.” As all these thoughts were running through my mind, I glanced over in order to see if my wife was hearing what I was hearing; however, she was not there. I then became extremely alarmed because I would normally send her downstairs to check out any unfamiliar noises. Who was going to do it now? Gradually, I came to my senses and realized that the reason my wife was not in bed was due to the fact that she was letting the dog out to use the bathroom.

The mind has a tendency to play tricks on a person, especially those who are absorbed with guilt. The wisdom writer reminds his readers of this truth when he says, “the wicked run away when no one is chasing them, but the godly are as bold as lions” (Proverbs 28:1). Hidden sin and unresolved conflict can result in a person living their life in fear of getting caught, even when no one else may know what they have done. A guilty conscience tends to have a misconstrued view of reality, while the clear conscience can experience a life of freedom. I think I’d rather spend my days being bold as a lion instead of feeling as if I am being chased by them. How about you?

A Shirtless Man Speaks

Tom Hogsed — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 10:00:00 +0000

Several years ago we had guests at our home for a weekend, which usually means an adjustment in our daily habits. I’m not talking about bad habits but normal, everyday things you can only do around your own family. Since our house is two levels (and also includes a basement), most of the adjustment only takes place on the ground-level floor. Normal activity resumes on the second floor where it is immediate family only. There is one slight connection between the ground level and the second floor by way of the stairs so that if you stand at the very bottom of our stairs, you can see straight into the upstairs bathroom if the door is open.

On Sunday morning, I got up early to take a shower and upon finishing I exited the bathroom with just shorts and no shirt on; however, as soon as I exited, I noticed that the female guest in our home was about to make her way up the stairs to the bathroom because she thought I was already done. Unfortunately, she saw me without my shirt on and I was extremely embarrassed. Although some guys may not think this is a big deal, I did because I’m not one who enjoys mowing the lawn with his shirt off or playing a basketball game where the teams are divided by shirts and skins. It’s just not me…it makes me feel as if someone has seen a part of me that was not meant for them to see. Now that you know my true feelings, I’m sure this will put to rest all the rumors flying about me being the shirtless model plastered on the wall of Abercrombie & Fitch!

Setting aside the physical aspect of this thought, I believe many of us can identify with the mental, emotional, and spiritual aspects. When someone catches an unauthorized view of a particular area of our life, we often retreat in shame. No one enjoys being exposed because of a weakness, a seemingly uncontrollable addiction, or an area of extreme vulnerability. Through years of experience, many have become experts at covering up these undesirable parts without realizing that “the eyes of the Lord are in every place, keeping watch on the evil and the good” (Proverbs 15:3). This means that God sees you – all of you…but He loves You anyway. Paul writes that God demonstrated His love toward us, that even though we were sinners, Christ still died for us (Romans 5:8).

An Unwanted Birthday Present

Tom Hogsed — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 05:01:00 +0000

“Can I go outside?” my seven year old daughter asked as I sat relaxing in the family room at our home. She loves the swing set in our backyard and spends lots of time swinging on the swings. “Sure. That’s fine with me,” I said as she quickly slipped on her flip flops and dashed into the backyard. A few minutes later, my wife came downstairs after waking up from her Sunday afternoon nap and sat with me in the family room. Before I knew it, my daughter was opening the sliding glass door wanting us to watch her new trick on the swing. Her trick was adventurous. After proving that she could use the rope swing to increase her speed on the regular swing, my wife and I continued hanging out in the family room…until the sliding glass door opened once again, but this time my daughter was crying. “What happened?” we asked. She proceeded to tell us (through the tears) that she had fallen off the swing and now her wrist was hurting. Since my daughter is a thrill seeker as well as accident prone, we took her to the local emergency care center where the x-rays revealed a broken radius (the lateral bone of the forearm). This is the second bone my daughter has broken this year and she just got her last cast off six weeks ago! Also, in keeping with her last broken bone, which she broke on my wife’s birthday, Lexi broke this bone on my birthday. I wonder what she will do for Christmas this year?

Today, when we were waiting in the doctor’s office I told my wife, “None of this would have happened if I would have told her that she couldn’t go outside.” Have you ever had one of those moments where you’ve questioned a better outcome if you would have made a different decision? I know I have. Unfortunately, no matter how bad you question your decision, it is already a part of your past.

Instead of attempting to change the past, fight to reclaim the future.

Vintage Nerf Hoops, Anyone?

Tom Hogsed — Sun, 08 Feb 2009 21:06:00 +0000

When I was a kid one of my favorite things to do was play NERF basketball in my room. If you are old enough to remember, NERF basketball was a basketball-like game you played upon attaching a little flimsy goal to a door in your house. It also came with a small NERF ball that was sure not to harm anyone involved. Since I had two brothers, we spent hours playing in our rooms even though we probably drove our parents crazy with all the jumping on the floor above them. As we got older, the games became more intense because we were no longer interested in Larry Bird shots, but only dunking the ball like Michael Jordan. Soon the game came out of our rooms and into the family room mostly because our tiny bedroom could not hold three teenagers. This move from the bedroom to the family room was a dangerous one. All three of us now had more room to get a running start to dunk the ball over each other. My middle brother, Tim, was bigger than both me and my youngest brother combined and when he would get a good start, it was time to move out of the way.

One particular day we were playing, I think it was before my mom and dad got home from work, and Tim came in for a monster dunk smashing right into the wall making an outline hole of his body. We all stood there in disbelief – this had never happened before. The first greatest question to answer was, “How do we hide this from mom and dad?” When reality set in, we knew there was no way to hide this from them.

Some people spend their entire life attempting to hide things from others…their faults, weaknesses, frailties, and vulnerabilities. Most of the time our endeavors to hide the truth stems from a desire for others to think we are strong in every area – emotionally, physically, spiritually, and socially. However, God’s system seems to work a little differently. Paul writes that God’s power works best when you are weak (2 Corinthians 12:9) and He uses the weak things of the world to bring the powerful to shame (1 Corinthians 1:27). It is a mystery how God can take the weak and make them strong. I guess it has more to do with Him than it does with us.

Head Banging

Tom Hogsed — Sun, 03 Aug 2008 23:58:00 +0000

Our garage has two windows similar to the ones in our home. The only difference is that they are much cheaper because they do not need to be double-paned or anything too fancy. Unlike the windows inside, the garage windows also get very dirty because they are exposed to the “elements.” Flies, bee, and other winged creatures often leave their mark or find their death on the sills of those windows. When I came home from work the other day, I heard this horrifyingly loud sound as well as the buzzing of wings. The sound was coming from one of those windows in the garage. Upon further examination I saw this huge bug-like thing continually banging its head on the window in an effort to fly himself (or herself) to freedom. As a human being I understand that a window is see-through and cannot be penetrated. Before you think you are superior to the insect world, I’m sure some of you reading have face planted into a screen door. You know who you are. I had to wonder what was going through the mind of that flying bug. For three days he was at my garage window. Freedom was right in front of his face, but he could never seem to experience it. He kept banging his head against the window in hopes that this time would be different than the last time.It is very frustrating when you can see freedom, but not experience it. It is very painful to keep ramming your head into the same old thing time and time again, but not be any closer than before. Have you ever felt like this? I have. This feeling usually comes when I am angry with myself for continuing to do that which I should not or ignoring my responsibility for doing what is right. The Apostle Paul felt the same way when writing to the Christians at Rome, “For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice” (Romans 7:19). Paul was not making excuses for his sin, but expressing frustration with his own inconsistency in choosing right. At times, I’m sure he felt as if he was returning to the patterns of his old life while at the same time desiring to receive freedom from the bondage of sin. This is where I live everyday. I know what God expects, but I struggle to free myself from the grips of sin. I’m not sure that there is an easy answer for this life. We will always struggle with sin in this life. True freedom will not be realized until Christ returns in the clouds to take those who are His. Until then we must rely on God’s forgiveness. John writes, “If we confess our sin He is faithful and just to forgive us our sin and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). The good news is that the mammoth, flying insect finally made it out of my garage (after 3 days) and flew to freedom. If he ever gets caught at the window again, I hope he remembers how he escaped.