A couple years ago I picked up a book at my local bookstore called Leading with a Limp. Before you run (or limp) out to buy it I want you to know that I never finished the book because, in reality, I only bought it based on its title – probably not a smart thing to do. However, the words written across the front of that hardbound book called out to me because it described the kind of leader I feel like I am – one who is flawed and fragile…and certainly one who doesn’t have it all together. I am constantly asking myself, “Did I make the right decision?” or “Why is God taking so long to show up?” Instead of leading by running ahead of those following me, I find myself falling back into the crowd or even limping behind. I’m pretty sure John Maxwell would be disappointed.
Now in case you are misunderstanding me, my intention is not to sound like Eeyore or the kid who said, “Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, guess I’ll go eat worms….” Actually, it is just the opposite. I love leading people and I especially love to play a small part in someone’s relationship with God; but I cannot get past the fact that I am no different than those I am leading. I stumble. I fail. I mismanage. I sin. I am selfish. I have wrong motives. I am broken. I lead with a limp. I lead with a limp in my relationships. I lead with a limp in front of my wife and kids. I lead with a limp in the church where I serve.
These thoughts have been on my mind for the past several days so I decided to allow myself to stay in an attitude of prayer. I’m not sure what I’ve said to God, but I’m sure He understands the deepest desires of my heart. I am reminded of Paul’s words to the Romans, “And the Holy Spirit helps us in our distress. For we don’t even know what we should pray for, nor how we should pray. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will” (Romans 8:26-27). I’m glad the Holy Spirit is praying for me and I rely on Him to guide this leader who walks with a limp.
Anyone else lead with a limp?
