Archive - Loving Others RSS Feed

This Stopped Traffic!

June 1, 2011 in Character, Funny Stories, Leadership, Loving Others, True Stories with 0 Comments

I try my best not to speed.  Some of you may not believe me, but it’s true.  Typically, I exceed the speed limit by not paying attention; however, I was thankful that I was paying attention this past Sunday afternoon while traveling south on Interstate 77.  Several cars in front of me began slamming on their brakes, so I automatically assumed that there was an accident or some type of road construction.  Wrong and wrong.  I slowed to almost a stop and then I saw what was happening.  A short, little lady had pulled her car over to the side of the road and she was basically stopping traffic in the very right hand lane.  Why?  Had she run someone over with her car?  Did she hit a deer?  Did one of her tires blow out?  The answer is…none of the above.  Apparently, there was a medium size turtle making an attempt to cross the crowded highway and this “good Samaritan” was risking life and limb to make sure that the turtle was safe.  Raise your hand if you would actually stop your car on the highway and help  a turtle make it across safely.  I would not.  I would think to myself, “Someone else will stop.”

The problem is that no one else will probably stop.  Everyone thinks that it is someone else’s responsibility.  When was the last time you saw a piece of trash on the ground and picked it up, even though you knew it was not yours?  When was the last time you willingly volunteered in the over-crowded nursery in your church, even though it wasn’t your scheduled week?  When was the last time you helped a busy neighbor finish a project, even though there was no personal benefit to you?

There are already enough spectators in our world.  The world needs people willing to serve, even when it is not their responsibility.  ”Therefore, whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone—especially to those in the family of faith” (Galatians 6:10, NLT).

What would you be willing to save even if you had to stop traffic?

You Be the Judge (or not)

October 5, 2010 in Judging, Leadership, Loving Others, Thoughts with 2 Comments

All of us have issues. You have them. I have them. The person who seems like they have it all together has them. So it confuses me when people act as if they don’t have any weaknesses, shortcomings, or struggles. What confuses me even more is when one individual judges another for a noticeable fault. Although I believe that the Bible commands Christians to judge or hold accountable those who teach doctrines contrary to Scripture (1 John 4:1-3), Jesus openly condemns those who sit in judgment of others for apparent failings.  Rather than pointing out someone else’s imperfections, Jesus demands that the “self-appointed judges” take care of their own issues first (Matthew 7:1-5).  I’m convinced that my issues will take a lifetime to overcome, so I am in no position to criticize another person for their flaws.

However, as a Pastor or spiritual leader I have a responsibility to confront or assist others who are ensnared in sinful issues.  How can a spiritual leader or friend find balance between judging and confronting sin?  Paul wrote some helpful advice to the church at Galatia concerning this very circumstance, “…if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted” (Galatians 6:1).  The key to avoid being judgmental is to realize that you are equally capable of committing the same trespass. This attitude of humility has a way of breaking down barriers which may lead to restoration…and repairing the damage is always the intended result.

“And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eyes when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying to your friend, `Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite!  First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye” (Matthew 7:3-5, NLT).

Put Down Your Middle Finger, Turn the Other Cheek

September 28, 2010 in Anger, Attitude, Character, Funny Stories, Loving Others, Relationships, True Stories with 1 Comment

A couple weeks ago I was leaving  Panera, one of my favorite places to eat, and there was a guy crossing into the parking lot right ahead of me.  Although the parking lot is a highly trafficked area, most drivers will stop for pedestrians…most of them.  As the guy in front of me headed to his car, a young driver decided that he wasn’t going to let him cross over in front of him.  They exchanged dirty looks and then the guy walking decided he was going to cross the street in front of this driver no matter what.  As the young man crossed in front of the car, he looked directly into the eyes of the driver and gave him a “one finger salute.”  I watched the entire scenario as if it were in slow motion.

Those types of occurrences don’t shock me, but they do leave me a little frustrated.  What was to be gained through that brief conflict?  As far as I can tell, nothing.  Although conflict is inevitable in everyday life, we can choose how we respond.  Many times we feel a need for personal retaliation when our so-called “rights” have been violated.  A smart remark, a dirty look, a word of gossip, or personal attacks top our lists when someone crosses us the wrong way, but is that God’s standard of conduct?  In His Sermon on the Mount, Jesus throws out a couple words we might overlook if we don’t read carefully, “But I say, do not resist an evil person! If someone slaps you on the right cheek, offer the other cheek also” (Matthew 5:39).  Jesus commands His followers to turn the other way instead of seeking revenge on those who have offended us.

Retaliating is natural.  Pardoning is supernatural. Revenge may be our human reaction, but release is our divine responsibility.

Words with Friends

August 26, 2010 in Loving Others, Speech, True Stories with 0 Comments

Sometimes the small things in life make the difference. This is especially true when it relates to the words we speak, whether they are kind or unkind. A few unkind words can cause lifelong hurt, but a word of compliment or encouragement can renew a person’s spirit. There is great power in your words. Proverbs 12:25 says, “Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs him down but a good word makes him glad.”

I want to make a challenge to you right now. Make a person glad today by saying a few words of kindness. Pick up the phone and call your wife. Send a Facebook message to the friend who has been experiencing hard times. Walk out of your office and go thank a co-worker for something they have done. Text a family member and let them know how much they mean to you. Write a special note and drop it in your child’s lunchbox. Leave your Pastor a voicemail letting him know that he is doing a great work in the church.

You have the opportunity to make a difference in a person’s life by speaking words of kindness. Kind words will not cost you anything, but they may be the most valuable thing a person receives today.

How have kind words made a difference in your life?

What I Learned from Hoarding

April 12, 2010 in Judging, Life, Loving Others, Transformation, True Stories with 0 Comments

Leah and I had a long day yesterday, but we got a lot accomplished…yard mowed (me), garage cleaned out (me), rearranging living room (both of us), and cleaning out Lexi’s room (Leah).  At the end of the day we sat down to watch TV and turned on a show we had never seen before called, Hoarding: Buried Alive.  According to wikipedia, hoarding is “a mental disorder marked by an obsessive need to acquire (and failure to use or discard) a significant amount of possessions, even if the items are worthless, hazardous, or unsanitary.”  We could not stop watching the stories of these people whose lives had been ruined by their years of accumulating things.  While watching the show, I kept wondering why these people just didn’t clean up their house and move on with life, but with each story there was a significant or series of significant events which contributed to their hoarding behavior.  One lady shared how she had been raised by an very mean aunt who, at one point, took everything the girl owned and burned it in a barrel and made her watch.  This past experience caused her to cling tightly to the things she owned in the present.

Watching this show last night reminded me that our past experiences shape the person we become.  Although our past does not necessarily excuse our future actions, it does help explain why we do what we do.  Allow me to take this one step further.  I believe it is also important that we remain patient when a person struggles with behavior foreign to us.  Even though I do not struggle with hoarding, I am not better than the person who does struggle with it…I’ve got my own problems.

Those of us who call ourselves followers of Christ must learn to be patient with those who are in the process of changing because change is a lifelong process, not an overnight sensation.

Jesus and All of His Loser Friends

July 31, 2009 in Attitude, Influence, Judging, Loving Others, Perspective, Relationships with 0 Comments

One day Jesus encounters a man who works for the IRS and asks him to change occupations. Instead of cheating people out of their hard earned money by collecting a little extra for himself, Jesus asks this man named Levi (Matthew) to work for Him. Without hesitation Levi closes his office, abandons everything he owns, and follows Jesus (Luke 5:27-28). This is a dramatic life change. After his early retirement from tax collecting, Levi holds a party in his home in honor of Jesus (his new boss) where the who’s who of losers and local outcasts attend alongside Jesus’ disciples (Luke 5:29). The people answering the door at Levi’s house obviously didn’t get the memo about sticking to the guest list because somehow the stuck-up religious people crashed the party accusing Jesus and His disciples of eating and drinking with losers (Luke 5:30). The so-called religious leaders thought that if Jesus and His followers were representing God, they should be a tad more discreet about the company they kept; after all, the scribes (interpreters of the Old Testament law) and Pharisees (group of people consumed with external rules) would never be caught dead befriending such outcasts.

When Jesus got word that the partypoopers had busted up the celebration, He immediately defended Himself and His disciples’ associations saying, “Healthy people don’t need a doctor – sick people do. I have come not to call those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners and need to repent” (Luke 5:31 NLT). Jesus’ defense here is simple. Rather than waste His time catering to people who thought they had God all figured out, He would instead spend His days offering hope and life to those who needed it most.

A lot of religious people are more concerned about who they can stay away from rather than being concerned about who needs Jesus.

A Not-So Friendly Encounter

June 25, 2009 in Judging, Loving Others, The Church, True Stories, Unspecific Ramblings with 0 Comments

“The locals are pretty nice around here,” I thought as the tall, elderly man standing at the door awaited our family to enter the store. I smiled and he spoke to me right before allowing us to pass through the entrance. At first I could not understand what he said because he was a “low talker.” No puffy shirt, though (only Seinfeld fans will understand)! “Excuse me,” my wife responded. “Don’t you know how to use the left hand turn lane?” the man inquired. His words made no sense and I must have looked confused so he provided further details of my supposed infraction. “I was turning in here right behind you, but you cut me off,” he continued. My wife quickly spoke up, “We’re not from around here. We’re just visiting from out of town.” Her answer did not seem to satisfy him so he mumbled something else and walked into the store. Now I know why he waited at the door for us. He wasn’t interested in welcoming us, but in making sure we were aware of the “code of conduct” in his town. Maybe I did do something wrong, but he saw my license plate. He knew I wasn’t familiar with his town.

I wonder how many people will visit churches this weekend and feel the same way?

As a side note, I figured that he may have also been an embittered Michigan football fan who was still nursing some wounds from Ohio State kicking their rear-ends this season. Just sayin…

What was I writing one year ago? Click here to read Trapped in a Room with a Fly

Coming Out of the Closet

June 21, 2009 in Funny Stories, Loving Others, Relationships, True Stories with 0 Comments

I was waiting patiently in the closet directly outside of the bathroom in the house where I grew up. The only audible noises were the sounds of me breathing and someone occupying the bathroom. Suddenly, the bathroom door swung open leaving me with a brief window of time to attack the person exiting. Not wanting to miss the perfect chance, I sprung from the closet and screamed as loud as I knew how finding myself face to face with the occupant…my dad. Uncharacteristically, a look of fear came across his face as he jumped back two or three steps before he realized that his “attacker” was none other than his eldest son, me. There was really nothing to fear about my five foot four, ninety-nine pound body frame, but the element of surprise was enough to scare the fear of God into him. In a house with three teenage sons, my mom and dad were constantly dealing with the cool factor and part of being cool was having the ability to scare the mess out of each other. Hiding in closets, under beds, and in dark rooms to find our next victim was common place in our home; however, scaring dad was next to impossible…until my great victory. I began laughing uncontrollably and pointing my finger in his face while gloating about the look of fear on his face. Instead of laughing along, he simply looked at me and said, “It may not be today, it may not be tomorrow, it may not be next week, but I WILL get you back” and then he walked away. My laughing immediately turned to panic because I knew that my dad never lies. I spent the next few days watching my back and living in constant fear until I eventually thought he had forgotten. He hadn’t.

Since I was a teenager working at our local grocery store, my boss usually scheduled me to work the closing shift which landed me home around 11:00pm or after. I stepped out of my rockin’, red Chevy Beretta and made my way to the front door of our house, but as I fumbled for my keys to unlock the door, I heard a slight rustling in the bushes. Before I could reach for my mace (just kidding), a giant man came pouncing out of the bushes screaming “Rooooooooooooooooooar!” Without thinking, I jumped off the porch and began running (in mid-air) toward the street screaming like a little girl, that is, until I heard my dad laughing uncontrollably.

Expect your actions toward others to be repeated on you also.

“So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you… (Matthew 7:12). When Jesus spoke these words, He was revealing the importance of treating others the way you want to be treated. Want love? Show love. Want respect? Show respect. Want attention? Show attention.

So, if you feel as if everyone is treating you badly, you might want to change the way you are treating them.

What was I writing almost a year ago? Find out by clicking here.
Click here to read last week’s most visited blog post.

I Cried Last Week…

June 18, 2009 in Funny Stories, Loving Others, Relationships, Tragedy, Trials, True Stories with 0 Comments

I cried. I admit that it’s been a while since I’ve let the tears flow, but I just could not hold them back. What was it that caused this grown man cry? Kris Allen winning American Idol provoked emotions in me which I had not felt in some time. Before I continue, I know what you’re thinking…what a wimp! Yeah, you’re right. I would be a wimp, but I am lying. I didn’t cry when Kris Allen won American Idol, but I did shed a few tears when I was in the shower the other day and shampoo got in my eyes. I’m not even sure how it occurred, considering I wash my hair every day, but I must have haphazardly slapped the shampoo on my hair causing it to seep into my eyes. Oh my word! I forgot how much it hurts to get that stuff in your eyes. For a brief second I thought about rushing to the emergency care center near our house so they could flush my eyes out with something, anything…but I figured they would just laugh at my expense. For the rest of the day my eyes were stinging and watering, but the irritation eventually subsided. Who in the world invented such potent shampoo and shouldn’t there be a massive warning label plastered on the front saying, “WARNING: May Burn Eyes Out of Head!”?

A little later in the day I remembered an incident last year when we had run out of the “tear free” shampoo for the kids and I had to make them use “big boy and big girl” shampoo. I thought my presentation about the shampoo being something big kids would use would convince them to use it. I was right. Inevitably, they both got shampoo in their eyes and made a big drama out of it. I remember saying to each of them, “It doesn’t hurt that bad. Quit being a baby!”

I find it very easy to judge someone whenever I haven’t experienced what they’re experiencing or when I’ve forgotten how it feels to be in their predicament. Saying things such as, “Forget about it” or “Get over it” or “Just move on” or “You’re acting immature” are unfair statements, especially when you haven’t attempted to identify with their feelings. A good rule to remember is this: If you can empathize (know by experience), share your story; if you can only sympathize (know by knowledge), keep your mouth shut and just listen.

What was I writing one year ago? Click here to read an old-school post.

Or, see what you’ve missed this week.
Monday – No Hamster Dance for Us!
Tuesday – The Intruder in Our House

An Exposed Crack

March 24, 2009 in Loving Others, True Stories with 0 Comments

Today I was driving home for lunch on a four lane road when all of a sudden I encountered one of those “slow left hand lane drivers” who refuses to use the right hand lane, otherwise known as the “lane for slow drivers.” I quickly discovered that I needed to pass this guy by using the right lane, although I believe my driver’s ed handbook says that is improper. Don’t get me wrong, I was not going that fast…this guy was just going a little under the legal speed limit. As I shifted into the right lane and got closer to his car, I noticed this guy’s front windshield wascracked. It wasn’t just cracked; it was cracked, meaning I was surprised he could drive with a windshield in that condition. Maybe that explains why he was driving so slowly.

I felt slightly guilty for being upset with this guy’s turtle-like driving. I assumed he was driving like this just to annoy people like me, instead of realizing he was just having problems seeing clearly and maybe needed a little understanding from the other drivers on the road.

Love is patient, love is kind (1 Corinthians 13:4).

Page 1 of 212»