Archive - True Stories RSS Feed

I’m Starring in a Movie!

April 18, 2011 in Attitude, Funny Stories, True Stories with 0 Comments

As a rule of thumb, I arrive at a movie 20 minutes before start time.  I broke this rule on Saturday and paid dearly.  This past Saturday afternoon the kids and I were finishing up grocery shopping and arrived at the theater  just as the movie was beginning.  Since the previews last at least half an hour, I thought that we would still be able to find a decent seat for three people.  I failed to realize that this was opening weekend for the movie and when I walked into the auditorium, almost every seat was filled.  Great.  Now to find seats in the DARK!  I quickly scanned the theater and spotted a couple open seats in the very back row.  All three of us began the long march up the stairs but I soon realized that the seats were occupied by people dressed in camouflage.  I believe their faces were also decorated with dark paint.  I could have sworn that those seats were empty.  I whispered to both of my kids that we were going to make the trek back down the stairs.  People nearby began to snicker when they realized our plight so I kicked a guy’s popcorn out of his hands.  Not really, but I thought about it.  As we were traveling back down the stairs I was desperately scanning every row for open seats.  Finally, I located three seats but some soccer mom had all of her kids’ jackets piled on the seats so that no one could sit there so I grabbed all of the coats and threw them on the ground.  Not really, but I thought about it.  Unfortunately, the dreaded FRONT ROW  is where we ended up.  I hate the front row.  The front row should be removed from every theater!

For the next one and a half hours, I was miserable.  I didn’t get to sit where I wanted to sit so I pitied myself.  I’m sure the movie was great, but I hated it.  When we left the movie, my kids were saying how much they enjoyed it.

Attitude was the difference.  We saw the same movie.  We sat in the same seats.  Two people were determined to enjoy it.  One person allowed circumstances to get in the way.

I was the star of my own movie.  Drama was the genre.  No happy ending.

Virus Warning!

April 13, 2011 in Failure, Forgiveness, True Stories with 1 Comment

My phone showed that I had 6 text messages.  The sender?  My wife.  Her shift began in ten minutes and her computer was infected with some type of virus which was preventing her from performing any tasks.  I placed a call to her but the problem could not be solved over the phone so I hopped into my car and hurried home hoping to resolve the issue.  Upon my arrival I discovered that Leah was right.  Nothing was functioning properly on her laptop.  Using my phone I googled (what did we do before Google?) the issue and within seconds I found that this virus had been experienced by many other users in the past few weeks.  Luckily, I also found the solution.  In order to get rid of the virus I had to perform a system restore.  By definition a system restore “…allows for the rolling back of system files, registry keys, installed programs, etc., to a previous state in the event of malfunctioning or failure.”  In other words, I could return the computer to an earlier point in its life when the virus did not exist on the computer.  Ten minutes later, the virus was gone and the computer was back to normal.

Too bad life doesn’t have a system restore.  When we fail, the clock cannot be turned back.  Although past sins and wrongdoing cannot necessarily be erased,  God has provided His own way for us to be restored.  Restoration involves these three elements:

Own Up – When you’ve sinned don’t hide it, minimize it, blame-shift it, or ignore it.  Acknowledge that you have sinned against God and broken His law (Proverbs 28:13).  Ask for His forgiveness.
Get Down – Owning up to your sin should be followed by a broken and humble heart.  If the sin involved another person, you have an obligation to make things right with them.  Your worship of God will not be acceptable until you have sought forgiveness from the others involved (Matthew 5:23-24).
Move On – Confession of sin leads to cleansing.  Since the past cannot be changed and you have sought forgiveness, move on (1 John 1:9; 2:1-2).  Learn from your past sin and be careful not to repeat it.

My Temporary Job as a Hairstylist

April 11, 2011 in Attitude, Funny Stories, True Stories with 0 Comments

It was two hours before our friends arrived at our home for an evening of hanging out.  I had just awoken from a Friday afternoon nap (Friday is my day off) and Leah told me that she wanted me to cut a piece of her hair that she felt was too long.  I told her “no.”  Cutting your wife’s hair is a no win situation and after almost 14 years of marriage I was not about to do something that could endanger my life; however, she insisted that I cut the piece of hair right now.  I said “no” again but she started calling me a wimp for not being able to cut a little piece of hair.  She was just luring me into her trap.  After much threatening, she convinced me to cut a piece of hair and even marking the place where I was supposed to cut using her fingers as a guideline.  Initially, I told her that the marking was too high but she told me to stop whining and just do it.  As soon as I made the cut, I knew it wasn’t right.  The piece of hair fell into her hand and she said, “That’s a lot of hair!”  As she looked into the mirror, a look of horror came over her face and I ran for cover.  Good thing we don’t own a gun.

She immediately got on the phone and called the walk-in place at the mall to see if they could “fix” it.  They told her to come on over, so the entire family jumped in the car for our latest adventure…not to be confused with a nightmare.  I took the kids to the food court while a kind lady attempted to correct my beginner mistake.  After about 30 minutes, Leah arrived in the food court with a new style.  The first thing out of her mouth was, “I look like Johnny Depp from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory!”  I assured her that she did not, but I believe the kids were quietly singing the Oompa Loompa song.   She told me to take her home right away so I did.  Upon our arrival at home, she went to work with her flat iron, hairspray, and a headband.  She really made the best of my mistake and her hair looks great.  Although she is not happy with her current hairstyle, she told me that it would grow out.

It’s true.  What has been done is done.  Giving circumstances a little time has a unique way of bringing renewed hope.

By the way, this story was used with permission.  I’m not stupid.  Also, I’ve retired from being a hairstylist.

Do You Speak with an Accent?

April 5, 2011 in Speech, True Stories with 2 Comments

Spring break took us south to North Carolina…home of sweet tea, NASCAR, and southern hospitality.  Since my parents and both brothers live in North Carolina, we end up making the trek there once a year.  North Carolina has not been my home since 1992 so each time we return I find myself listening to people talk.  I like their accents, but my British wife is not a big fan of the southern drawl.  It’s a matter of taste.  I used to talk just like the people in the south, that is, until I moved away to Florida for 6 years of college and then spent the last 13 years in Ohio.  Ohioans don’t have accents so I have gradually lost mine and all distinctiveness has disappeared from my life.  I guess I talk normal now.  Every once in a while I will meet someone in Ohio and immediately know that they immigrated from the south.  The way the person talks gives it away every time!

What does the way you talk reveal about you?

“A fool is quick-tempered, but a wise person stays calm when insulted.  An honest witness tells the truth; a false witness tells lies.  Some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing” (Proverbs 12:16-18, NLT).

Save the Drama for Your Mama

April 4, 2011 in Speech, True Stories with 0 Comments

On our way home from church last night, we stopped at a red light and my kids began making faces at the person in the car next to us.  I was praying that it was someone from church, but when I asked if they knew who it was they responded, “I don’t know.”  I knew I should have spent the extra couple hundred dollars to have my windows tinted!  I immediately went into “fatherly mode” and warned them of the dangers of making faces at people they do not know.  Rather than simply explaining why we don’t make funny faces at unfamiliar people, I over dramatized the scenario and chose a far-fetched illustration that went something like this: “We don’t make faces at people we don’t know because some people may pull out a gun and shoot at us!”  They thought my story was dumb and my son told me that he could dodge the bullet.  Although there are people in our world whose road rage may cause them to act out in violence, most people are reasonable.  There was no need for me to over-dramatize the situation.

Our world is full of drama and, at times, thrives on drama.   It amazes me how quickly situations can escalate because somebody added a little drama to a possible outcome.  Just watch the 24 hour news channels.  Drama.  Listen to office gossip.  Drama.  Speculate on a family situation.  Drama.

Rather than contributing to the noise, use your words wisely.  Drama only creates more drama.

“In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches. But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. And the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself” (James 3:5-6)

How Do I Look?

March 28, 2011 in Judging, Perspective, True Stories with 0 Comments

I’d hate to have that job.  As I zoomed by on the highway, I saw a truck that was attempting to tow a relatively brand new RV.  The tow  truck was much smaller than the RV so I was amazed that this was possible.  I would just hate to be the guy responsible for towing that huge vehicle!  A couple miles down the road I passed an old, beat up RV speeding down the other side of the highway.  The outside was decorated with an ugly shade of brown and probably had a western mural painted on the backside but it was running, unlike the brand new one I’d seen earlier.  What was the difference?  I can’t say for sure, but sometimes I wonder if we place too much emphasis on what is seen rather than what is not seen.  Although the new RV looked clean on the outside, it is quite possible that the hidden parts had not been well maintained.  The opposite would be true for the RV from the 1970′s.  Even though the outside was a little dated, I’m confident that the hidden parts had been well managed.

All of us spend an inordinate amount of time maintaining what is seen, but how much time is dedicated to what cannot be seen?  The appearance of the body has become more important than the maintenance of the heart.

This is Disappointing…

March 24, 2011 in Disappointment, True Stories with 0 Comments

It’s no secret that I like electronics.  Some people like guns, I like gadgets.  When I heard about Google’s Pilot Program for the yet to be released Cr-48 Chrome Notebook, I applied to receive a free one so I could participate in helping give feedback about the product.  I have been using the chrome browser for over two years and I discussed my browser adultery here.  Since I use use almost all of Google’s products, I thought that I would be the perfect person to test one of their products.  I guess I was wrong.  I didn’t hear anything for several months so I had, honestly, forgotten and given up all hope until I heard about some friends receiving one.  All hope was restored and I began to come home from work each day hoping that I would have a package awaiting me with a brand new Cr-48 Chrome Notebook, but each day…nothing.  As each day passed, my hope turned to disappointment and then I heard that the program had ceased.  No one else would be receiving a notebook.  I guess it was my own little “red rider BB gun” story except instead of shooting my eye out, it would be something like carpal tunnel.  I’m not going to lie, I was disappointed.

Although my situation is small compared to many, I’m sure you can identify with feelings of disappointment…awaiting something that never happens.  A relationship was never restored.  You were not re-hired after a layoff.  Your grown child is still living a reckless life.  A circumstance has yet to change.  Your church does not have a certain attendance.  What do you do when disappointment occurs?  I believe there are two things: re-evaluate what satisfies you and remember what you have.

Re-evaluate what satisfies you.  Disappointment has a unique way of exposing our dependencies.   Some people believe that they cannot be satisfied if certain things do not happen; however, all of us must learn to be satisfied by what does not change (Psalm 102:25-27).

Remember what you have.   Rather than being disappointed by what is not happening, be grateful for what is happening.

Monday Schmunday

March 21, 2011 in Motivation, Thoughts with 0 Comments

It’s Monday.  I like Monday.  Some people don’t.

I think I like Monday because it signifies the beginning of a new week.  Last week is gone.  The happenings over the last seven days cannot be changed.  Last week is now the past.  Some people allow circumstances from last week to affect this week.  I try not to do that, although I’m not always perfect at it.  The good which occurred last week will provide joy to begin this week anew.  The disappointments from prior days must be left in the past.  I confess my sins.  I make things right with those I’ve offended.  I move on.  I must move on.  If you’ve been forgiven by God, forgive yourself.  Start over.  You must.

“…forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead…” (Philippians 3:13)

I Was Falsely Accused!

March 16, 2011 in Funny Stories, Relationships, True Stories with 0 Comments

I was sitting at a red light minding my own business when suddenly someone honked their car horn.  Since I live in a small city, horn honking is not common except for major infractions.  Personally, I use my horn sparingly for fear of being shot or beat up.  Upon hearing the horn honk, the guy directly in front of me immediately looked in his rear-view mirror not just once, but several times.  He thought it was me.  To make matters worse, the guy was driving an old pick-up truck.  Luckily, there was no gun rack or bumper sticker reading, “Honk if You Want to Meet Jesus!”  I wasn’t sure what I needed to do to clear my name or let the guy know that it was not me who honked.  He continued to stare me down in his rear-view mirror until the light turned green and he sped away.  The phantom honker was never discovered and there is a guy driving around my city in an old pick-up who thinks I honked at him.

Unfortunately, all of us know how it feels to be falsely accused.  The immediate response is usually to defend ourselves or personally attack those who are blaming us; however, sometimes it is best to just walk away.  Jesus was often falsely accused but He chose to walk away.  Instead of firing back, He stepped back.

Caught on Video (14 Years Ago)

March 15, 2011 in Family, God, Marriage, True Stories with 1 Comment

This past weekend  we had some friends over to our house and, for some unknown reason, my wife popped in our wedding video.  Leah and I were married on May 31, 1997 (almost 14 years ago) and watching that video brought back some good memories.  Our friends, our family, our bridesmaid who fainted during our vows, the Irish dancers, the bagpiper, and so many other moments were captured on that day.  I listened to my words.  I watched my body language.  I relived the moment my wife walked down that aisle.  All good memories.  Looking back to that moment fourteen years ago made me realize that our wedding was only the beginning.  Sure.  Our wedding day was a confession of our love and commitment to each other, but those words must be lived out every day following.  For better or for worse.  For richer.  For poorer.  In sickness and in health.  I meant those words fourteen years ago and I mean them today.  Marriage has good times.  Marriage has hard times.  During the good times we are thankful.  During the hard times we are prayerful.  But, no matter what, the words which were spoken on our wedding day must be the heart cry for each day.

Whether you are married or not, all of us have (or can have) a relationship with God through Jesus Christ, which somewhat mirrors a marriage.  A relationship with God begins at your moment of faith in Jesus’ death for sin, His burial and resurrection which guarantees eternal life (1 Corinthians 15).  This confession of faith is similar to the wedding day where the relationship begins.  When hard times come, look back to the day of your faith.  You received God’s forgiveness, love, and mercy then and those things are still available today.  If God loved you then, He still loves you now.  If He forgave you then, He’ll forgive you now.  If God extended His mercy then, He will grant you mercy once again.

For better or for worse, God will not leave you.

Page 5 of 28« First...«34567»1020...Last »